Saturday blues

Waking up can be hard when you’re not the person you want to be. I try my best to stick to my goals, and understand that the small steps (which seem to drag forever) are crucial in the process of becoming a writer. This blog is for my own piece of mind.

I’m responsible for keeping everything on track financially, and frankly I don’t know if I’m doing a good job. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with keeping all the bill due dates on track. Math was never my strongest forte and it’s what you need to create a budget. I don’t disposable income to hire someone to help me out, and sometimes reading advice on how to do it better just makes me more neurotic. My power cannot be bleached from me, because then I might become the trembling mess of nerves I was at the beginning of this marriage, this life.

I need help. I can stay calm most of the time. I do yoga, breathe, focus on one point at a time, and occasionally drink some wine. In the long run, that doesn’t help as much as properly planning a financial future. I want to own my own house, I’m over 30 and I want a foundation. Will I ever be able to breathe just because I can, or will I forever breathe in order to calm myself?

Back to breathing, wonder if anyone is reading this…

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