A loss of innocent seems inevitable in the harsh reality of the dirt we live on. I still mourn for my youthful naiveté.
A heart once torn will heal, and the scar tissue becomes a protective seal.
A second lasting loss in my life, in any young girl’s life, happened in 6th grade. I met and lost the love of my pre-teen life. I met RC, his smile endeared me. He would take second and third glances at me in math class. He became the soul reason for me to try in that horrid subject.
No one ever took a second glance at little mousy me. My timid nature did not draw the spotlight, and my hesitancy to meet another’s eyes put people off. Not RC, he smiled with a dimple and tried to help me with those problems that have numbers and letters. He even coaxed a few smiles from my blushing face.
I never spoke about my crush, and I was not even a novice in the game of flirting. A blonde, blue eyed vixen was added to the xlass, and I lost him. I lost him before I had a chance to hold his hand or get my first kiss. I lost my perfect first kiss, and another layer of innocence was pealed off.
What was worse, she was genuinely kind and sweet. I learned to channel, quietly inside, my emerald gaze of jealousy. And although I moved onward and forward, I always regretted not expressing myself better or being more direct. A teenage crush, a big loss in a girl’s life.
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